So this has been a very, very long week.
If you've been reading along, you may remember that I once referred to my 2 1/2 year-old daughter as a gorgeous little Russian despot. A tyrant with bright blue eyes and a killer left-hook.
Well. The Czarina has returned. Let me just say that this week involved all of the following:
no no no no no no no no NO I WON'T!
running into parkinglots
fingers caught in windows
I know that God laughs at me. I mean to say, laughs with me.
No, at me. These days it's definitely at me.
This is okay. My life is pretty funny. And sometimes it's difficult not to laugh when your stubborn little Mossad-agent in training decides to stage all-out war.
But Mama is tired.
So, for today, in honor of my little Czarina, a list of 6 of my favorite tyrants of all time:
The world was hers. She ordered men around like puppies. And she wore great eyeliner.
2. Genghis Khan
A big, bad meanie. Basically created the Mongol Empire and conquered most of Eurasia. And did it with a Fu Manchu.
3. The Lady MacBeth
Wild, erratic, nutso. At least in Shakespeare's version, intent on world domination.
4. Vlad the Impaler
The inspiration for Dracula. One scary son of Pete. (The name says it all, really.)
5. The Emperor Nero
6. Czarina Wylie. Ruling Despot of Turnpike Road.
Notorious for tantrum-throwing (usually in front of visiting dignitaries), plate-launching, and yogurt-tossing. Also refusing to hike any further.