Friday, March 23, 2012

My Favorite Tyrants

So this has been a very, very long week.

If you've been reading along, you may remember that I once referred to my 2 1/2 year-old daughter as a gorgeous little Russian despot. A tyrant  with bright blue eyes and a killer left-hook.

Well. The Czarina has returned. Let me just say that this week involved all of the following:

no no no no no no no no NO I WON'T!
running into parkinglots
late nights
early mornings
time outs
fingers caught in windows
broken toys

I know that God laughs at me. I mean to say, laughs with me.

No, at me. These days it's definitely at me.

This is okay. My life is pretty funny. And sometimes it's difficult not to laugh when your stubborn little Mossad-agent in training decides to stage all-out war.

But Mama is tired.

So, for today, in honor of my little Czarina, a list of 6 of my favorite tyrants of all time:

1. Cleopatra

The world was hers. She ordered men around like puppies. And she wore great eyeliner.

2. Genghis Khan

A big, bad meanie. Basically created the Mongol Empire and conquered most of Eurasia. And did it with a Fu Manchu.

3. The Lady MacBeth

Wild, erratic, nutso. At least in Shakespeare's version, intent on world domination.

4. Vlad the Impaler

The inspiration for Dracula. One scary son of Pete. (The name says it all, really.)

5. The Emperor Nero

Supposedly fiddled while Rome burned and liked to capture Christians. Enough said.  

6. Czarina Wylie. Ruling Despot of Turnpike Road.

Notorious for tantrum-throwing (usually in front of visiting dignitaries), plate-launching, and yogurt-tossing. Also refusing to hike any further.


Vinegar Martini said...

Hmm. Maybe it's time to get another hiking partner? Toddlers really aren't equipped to trek for miles without having their moments.

She looks very tired and sad - that broke my heart.

Katherine S. Crawford said...

No duh.

Okay, that was the 13 year-old that lurks within me. Sometimes I let her out.

I may be a newbie parent, but I'm no dummy. I'd never hike for miles with a two year-old. This photo was from a park we went to near Charlotte. We'd walked maybe 100 yards.