This may come as no surprise to you, since I also have a coffee problem. Lately my coffee has been half-decaf, but that’s another story.
For Christmas this past year, my dear sister-in-law gave me what has become my new favorite coffee mug. I just had to share. It’s called a Shakespearian Insults Mug, and it’s nice and fat and easy to hold. I love it.
See? Love it, love it.
When I was a kid, I used to hear my grandmother (and my mother) use this oft-repeated phrase: “There is no excuse for rudeness.” Rarely did I ever hear “Use your words!” because, well, I was full of words and probably didn’t need any excuse to use more.
Behold, the genius of the Bard:
Shakespearian Insults 101
(Try them out alone, or by inserting, “Oh, you …,” “You are …,” or “You are nothing but a ….” in front.)
“Beetle-headed, flap-ear’d knave”
“lewdly inclin’d”
“the soul of this man is his clothes”
“quintessence of dust”
“canker blossom”
“poisonous bunch-back’d toad”
“O gull, O dolt, as ignorant as dirt”
“clod of wayward marl”
“false of heart, light of ear, bloody of hand”
“roast-meat for worms”
“infinite and endless liar, an hourly promise-breaker”
“anointed sovereign of sighs and groans”
“lump of foul deformity”
“highly fed and lowly taught”
“all eyes and no sight”
“all the infections that the sun sucks up”
“elvish-mark’d abortive, rooting hog”
“veriest varlet that ever chewed with a tooth”
“I do desire we may be better strangers”
“You rampallian! You fustilarian!”
“mountain of mad flesh”
“light of brain”
“bolting-hutch of beastliness”
“not so much brain as ear wax”
“long-tongu’d babbling gossip”
“thou art a boil, a plague sore”
And my favorite:
“a fusty nut with no kernel”
* I’m not being paid to endorse this mug. I just like it so much, I had to share.
